>
(via stopnicole)
You just can’t say it any better than this.
>
A slice of a journey
I started by getting up from my chair.
I first shifted my weight to my legs
and then straightened my joints, starting at my knees and working my way up to my shoulders
once erect, I turned around by stepping on my right foot and then switching to my left
now that I was standing and facing my room’s door, I began the long, tenuous journey of walking to the bathroom.
the first leg of the journey was still inside my bedroom.
most of that leg of the journey was on my carpet, although the last few steps were on hardwood floor
then, because of the barrier my door posed to me journey, I had to turn the door knob, and pull the door back and to the lft
left*
contrary to what you might think, the door proceeded to open without fail, and I was able to continue on my endeavor
now that I was past my door, I was in the realm of what many would consider to be my hallway
this stretch of hardwood floor encased in wall was very bare; nary a human in sight
Client “The banner is ok, but we need to do something about the product name, we need to have it in capitals”
Designer “But, the text is already in all capitals”
Client “Ok, can you make the capitals more capital then?”
Physics vs. Santa
Physics vs. Santa
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second — 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional Reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional Reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” Reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them — Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance — this would heat up the Reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the Reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.
>
Star Trek fans… :-/
I’m thinking I want five or six different logos for my business. That way I can put a different one on my website, business cards, and t-shirts, and really stand out from the competition.
—(via clientsfromhell)
Prospective client: $400 for a logo?! Why are you so expensive? My nephew has Photoshop—I can just get him to do it. Me: Does your nephew have Microsoft Word? Prospective client: Yes. Me: Then have him write you a novel while he’s at it.
>
My current desktop arrangement. Notable because of my recent switch to Snow Leopard.
Without ever having had /really/ used Windows 7, I can say that the MOST overused “UI element” is transparency. TOO MUCH TRANSPARENCY!
